Monday, August 10, 2009

With Every Mistake, We Must Surely Be Learning...

...and with as many mistakes as I've made over the past several years, you'd think I'd be a genius; however, self-degradation is not the intent for this post. As a matter of fact, I'm aiming for the complete opposite. This collection of thoughts is meant to be a celebration - a toast, if you will - to the recent untangling of my heart from certain shackles that were previously holding me down.

Oh, Google, how I love thee. Without you, these idle fingers would never have stumbled upon certain liberating truths over a month ago. You have given me a sense of security in my own intuition toward relationships and I will never again doubt myself. It is frightening, sometimes, the capacity of which I understand a situation before having actual concrete evidence that invariably supports my suspicions. The feeling of validation and security in myself that I now possess is priceless (and unfaltering)!

With this acquired knowledge, I will not allow myself to feel anger. It is both a blessing and relief to finally be aware of the duplicity that existed within the distance between two hearts. All I will allow myself to feel toward the other party is pity, because of his obvious self-esteem issues, his inability to effectively communicate his feelings or the truth, and his insatiable need for attention.

A friend of mine recently joked with me, in reference to this situation, about how it felt to lose 250 pounds of baggage. I have to admit that it feels pretty fabulous and I've never looked better! That being said, I want to take this moment to thank all of those who remain near and dear to me. It is through your friendships that I know of the good that still exists in this world. Sometimes we happen upon dark clouds in our lives and they shut out the light for a time. Well, these clouds are parting, and the one that will make my heart sing is still out there. Until we meet, I'll be patiently waiting for him to see me shining through like a crazy diamond.

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